05-01-2005 4:40 am

SELFISH. IT’S WHAT I WAS I TOLD I WAS BEFORE. I’M SURE IT’S WHAT I’M BEING DESCRIBED AS NOW. BUT, YOU KNOW, FUCK YOU. I’VE DONE NOTHING BUT CONTINUE TO GIVE MYSELF TO THE LADIES I’VE ENJOYED THE PRESENCE OF BEING WITH. AND TO YOU, I SAY, FUCK YOU. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME? HUMILITY? IT’S BEEN DONE. I’VE RUN OUT OF ANSWERS… OF CIRCUMSTANCES. OF THE BULLSHIT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH. WHY CAN’T PEOPLE JUST BE FUCKING HONEST… SAY IT. IF YOU CAN’T SAY THE TRUTH OF WHAT YOU REALLY FUCKING FEEL… IT’S NOT ONLY YOURSELF YOUR CHEATING AND DENYING. I THINK, AT LEAST FOR THE MOMENT. I DON’T WANT TO DIE ALONE. I’M SO SCARED. FUCK OFF. I DON’T CARE ANYMORE, ABOUT ANYTHING. IT’S NOT WORTH THE FUCKING EMOTION INVOLVED. THE ONLY THING I END UP FEELING IS FUCKING HURT… AND I’M LEFT OUT ALONE IN THE COLD. WHY? BECAUSE I ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT. YAY FOR FUCKING ME.